I am not speaking about the kind of change as in, “change of season,’ or ‘change your mind’ or ‘change who you are,’ but just how change can be a good thing and often a challenging thing – especially when decision-making is not your strong suit.
So, this is all about Embracing Change!
Change can bring about all kinds of feelings from frustrations and fears, to financial concerns and regret, and of course, joy and contentment. You may need to make rather scary decisions in order to cause a change. And I am speaking from experience because in the last several months I have gone through tremendous change – which for me should not be difficult because decision-making generally comes easy to me. But nonetheless, the changes before me provided enough anxiety that I wanted to write about it because many people I coach experience this sensation when they are confronted with a change.
My big change was that I moved from California to Missouri. Yep, you read that right
- Santa Barbara to Kansas City specifically. I moved for a change of pace (a little adventure), simpler lifestyle, and a relationship. Now, many people have tried to make me doubt this change asking me, “Why in the world would you move from California to Missouri?” And I initially felt like I had to defend this decision to others
- but rather than actually defend my choice to them, I informed them of my reasons because most had never lived where I had, and judged simply by what they saw on TV or hearsay. Yes, Santa Barbara is beautiful, has an average temperature of 72 degrees almost year-round, has the ocean and mountains in one view, and has beautiful architecture, an interesting lifestyle, and is considered THE place to live. I get it. What I also point out is that I have had to evacuate four times in the past two years due to fires, earthquakes are a regular thing and I am always waiting for ‘the big one.’ Now add to that oil spills, flooding if we have rain and the recent debris flow – because we finally got a lot of rain – and there are some valid reasons to not live in ‘sunny Cali.’
There are some wonderful pluses in Kansas City: the seasons are so beautiful and different every week; the color of grass is amazing and a shade I didn’t know existed in nature because the ‘green’ grass I know in California is different (and sometimes is actually plastic); water (good water) I can drink from the faucet; long showers because there is enough water that I can, whereas in California I had to time them due to the never-ending draught. People are so very kind here, and there is very little – if any – ‘rat race mentality’ I always experienced in California. Relaxing is a real thing and it’s free!
So, yeh, there are good reasons for my change and they are my reasons. Truly embracing change did take a little work. In order to adapt and become comfortable with my change and the decision to do so, I made sure to have my ‘creature comforts’ around me – so I brought out my favorite hobbies, some of my books, my favorite clothes and shoes, my artwork, photos, and quilts. I brought things that brought familiarity – which is what we humans need to feel comfortable. We need those things that nurture us and make us feel connected and safe where we are. My ‘people’ obviously couldn’t come with me, but those I enjoy having in my life connect via Skype or phone and I stay in touch with them about the same amount as when I lived minutes away. When I come to visit, I make plans with each and every one – which is about the same amount of contact as I had when I lived there.
If you have a decision to make about a big (or little) change – carefully weigh the options before you. Consider how you will feel in the new place, whether that be a place you live, or a place you work, or the people you spend your time around. Whichever choice you do make, be sure to bring along something that is familiar to you to bridge the past situation with the future one. Change is a guarantee in life – nothing stays the same in any part of our existence, so getting used to it and accepting it as a good thing will make the process easier and enjoyable. Embrace the change with all the positives you can come up with – It helps!